Steminist blog

Hobbies

Shreyasi Mukerji

The realm of STEM is both exhilarating and demanding. Having navigated this landscape as a mechanical engineer, I've experienced the highs of breakthroughs and the lows of hitting roadblocks. Yet, nothing ever prepares me for the sudden jolt of unemployment, no matter how temporary. In a field as dynamic and competitive as ours, job transitions aren’t uncommon, but whenever it happens to me, I feel stranded in uncharted waters.

When the news settles, advice pours in from well-meaning friends and colleagues, and it's always: "Take a break, relax, and spend time on your hobbies." I feel like I am physically incapable of relaxing, no matter how privileged I know I am to be able to comfortably survive on my partner's salary for a while. The idea of 'relaxing' feels counterintuitive. The sudden abundance of free time doesn't feel like an opportunity to indulge in hobbies; it feels like a glaring spotlight on my current state of purposelessness.

Even in moments of pause, the ethos of STEM careers, particularly for women, seems to be about constantly adding value, innovating, and moving forward. As someone who had always been engrossed in projects, deadlines, and designs, a sudden halt can be jarring. My identity is deeply intertwined with my sense of purpose. Without a job title to anchor me, I feel adrift.

Every moment I consider diving into a book, painting, or playing an instrument, a nagging voice reminds me of the 'productive' things I should be doing instead—networking, upskilling, or job hunting. This internal tug-of-war, while not exclusive to women in STEM, seems amplified for us. Perhaps it's the knowledge of being in a minority in our fields, or the added scrutiny we often feel, but the pressure to continually prove ourselves, even in moments of setback, is magnified.

Downtime can feel like a double-edged sword. On one side, there’s the potential for rest and rejuvenation, a chance to reset and refuel. On the other, there’s the looming specter of stagnation, the fear of being left behind in an ever-evolving field. For me, this period of unemployment, instead of offering a respite, could easily be a source of mounting anxiety.

However, it's essential to remember that our worth is not just tied to our professional output. Hobbies, those activities we pursue purely for joy, have intrinsic value. They nurture our souls, offer a change of pace, and provide a canvas to express ourselves beyond the confines of our profession.

I recognize that being a mechanical engineer is just one facet of who I am. By allowing myself to indulge in hobbies, I will not be detracting from my professional identity but enriching my overall persona. I'm trying to acknowledge the importance of pauses, even if they're short. Embracing hobbies provides the balance and rejuvenation we need to return to our professional lives with renewed vigor and perspective. After all, our worth is a culmination of all our experiences, both professional and personal.